


The Tracks Lead Back to You

by Magnus_Puer



Category: Voltron: Legendary Defender
Genre: Adopted Keith (Voltron), Alternate Universe - High School, Fluff, Gen, High School, Keith & Shiro (Voltron) are Siblings, M/M, Mystery, Paranormal, Private School, Sad Ending, Tags Contain Spoilers, Train AU, broganes, ghost - Freeform, klance, klance fluff, train
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2018-12-21
Updated: 2019-06-03
Packaged: 2019-09-24 07:53:11
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 4
Words: 12,105
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17096786
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Magnus_Puer/pseuds/Magnus_Puer
Summary: Lance and Keith used to fight all of the time, but an accident happens that leads Keith to be adopted by Lance's family.Keith and Lance McClain's real journey begins when they start attending Voltron Academy, a private school in the city. There they meet several friends, old and new, who seem to be hiding some dark history.Keith pursues clues to solve the mystery that Lance would rather they left alone.





	1. Prologue

**Author's Note:**

> I'm not going to do author's notes because I want this fic to speak for itself. I will answer comments, though.

"Why did you two sit next to each other?!" Mr. Iverson asked, obviously irked.

Lance was trying to push me into the aisle of the bus. I was trying to push him back against the window.

"He started it!" Lance told Mr. Iverson. "He hit me first!"

I glared at him. "No. You started it! You said that my eyes are weird!"

"They are! It's not my fault that you're a freak!"

How dare he? "You're the freak!" I retorted. I was really good at comebacks.

Mr. Iverson grabbed my arm and pulled me away from Lance. "Keith! Switch places with Hunk, please."

Lance stuck out his tongue out at me as I stepped back. "Good," he spat. "Get your stupid mullet away from me."

"Lance," Mr. Iverson warned.

Hunk looked scared out of his mind to have to move, but he smiled at Lance as he sat down next to him.

I️ didn't even see the point of moving. We were at the museum in less than two blocks anyway. Everyone filed out of the bus and got into their small groups to take roll. My chaperone was my big brother Shiro. In my group were Hunk, Rolo, and— you guessed it— Lance.

Throughout the entire tour, Lance and I️ were making passes at each other and arguing. When it was finally time for lunch, Shiro was beyond peeved. He checked us in with Mr. Iverson at the station and walked away to take a break. "Be back before 2:00. I'll need your help watching everyone around the train," Iverson told him. "That's when it will pass through here."

Shiro appeared to have no interest in seeing the train...or us kids. He nodded blankly at Mr. Iverson and went back into the museum to get a coffee.

Lance, Hunk, and I sat away from the other kids. They didn't like us very much because we were always fighting and getting them into trouble. Hunk wasn't really the problem. He was just too nice to leave us.

Lance tapped me on the shoulder. "I bet I can eat faster than you," he said.

"Psshh," I psshhed. "No way."

"Ten seconds," he said seriously.

"You are the dumbest person that I have ever met," I told him. He stared at his sandwich for a moment before trying to shove the entire thing into his mouth. I had already counted to ten, like, eight times when he finished. "You lose. That was more than ten seconds."

Lance bristled up at that. "You were counting too fast! And It's not like you can do any better!"

"Oh yeah!?" I challenged, preparing my sandwich.

Hunk started to sweat. "Guys, please don't fight."

"Yeah," Lance said, completely ignoring Hunk. He looked me dead in the eye. I nodded at him. "Go!"

Shiro had cut my pb&j into four triangles. I shoved one in my mouth and took a gulp of juice so that I didn't have to chew. I cleared ten seconds, easy. I definitely had beat Lance. I smiled triumphantly at him as I finished off my juice.

"Cheater!" he shrieked. "Yours was pre-chewed...and you had juice!"

"Guys," Hunk whined.

"I'm not a cheater." I crushed my empty juice box. "Fours and apple juice were not against the rules. I was just using my resources."

Lance looked like he was about to pounce. And then he did. I was knocked out of the picnic table and he tried to pin me to the ground. Too bad for him because I was superior at all things and turned the tables on him. I was victorious and had him straddled on the ground, but my good mood didn't last because Mr. Iverson was pulling me off of him.

"What is wrong with you children?!" he yelled. "Get away from each other. All three of you are not allowed around each other unless you apologize right now!"

Hunk burst into tears. "I'm so sorry," he hiccupped. "Keith and Lance, you guys are my best friends in the whole- hic- universe. Please for-hic-give me. I should've tried h-hic-harder to stop you. We never had to get in trouble but I-"

"Stop," Mr. Iverson sighed at Hunk. "You can take a five-minute break and come back. Go drink some water, kid. As for you two," he turned to Lance and me, "stay away from each other. For the rest of today, you will stay on opposite sides of the group. Do you understand me?"

Lance nodded solemnly. I glared at Mr. Iverson. Who was he to tell me what to do?

"Do you understand, Keith?"

I grunted and stomped away to sit by Rolo, who didn't say anything.

Some guy from the museum was talking to us about train safety and whatnot, but I was too mad to listen. I shouldn't've gotten in trouble. Lance was the one who pushed me. Mr. Safety passed out earplugs because the train was loud or something.

Somehow, Lance and I gravitated back together when Iverson was turned around. "Hey," he whispered, trying not to get caught. "How about one more contest?"

I pretended not to hear him.

"Keith," he taunted quietly. "Mr. Safety said the train rumbles so much when it gets close that it's hard to stand. I bet I can stand on the tracks longer than you."

I couldn't resist a bet. He got me. Besides, I could win this one, easy. "Oh, yeah?" I whispered.

"Yeah," he grinned.

"Put your earbuds in!" Mr. Iverson shouted. Everyone did so, including Lance and me. I was impressed at how little I could hear. Good, I thought. Then I wouldn't have to hear his whining after I had won again.

We approached the tracks, keeping an eye on Iverson so that he wouldn't see us together again. I stood facing Lance and he facing me. He crossed his arms and raised one eyebrow. I couldn't do that, so I crossed my arms and raised both eyebrows. The only things I saw were Lance's determined blue eyes. It was as if we were the only two people in the world. Just me, Lance, and a train.

Wait, what? I looked deeper into Lance's eyes at a tiny little train. I turned around to see a big, real-life train that was getting closer every second. Instinct told me to get out of the way, but I couldn't lose this bet. I tried to motion to Lance that we should get off at the same time and call it a tie. I couldn't hear anything, but the ground began to shake under my feet. The train was getting closer.

I hated to admit it, but I was scared. "Lance!" He seemed to be scared too. He bit his lip and kept switching his gaze between me and the train. I couldn't tell if it was my heart beating out of my chest or if it was the trembling tracks beneath us, but I couldn't lose this bet. I stood my ground.

Seconds seemed like hours, yet everything happened too fast. Lance pushed me hard onto the concrete. I clung to him and held him as close to me as I could as the giant metal beast roared past us. I couldn't tell the difference between the beating of my heart and the impressive clunk-cahlunk of the train on the tracks.

I thought I could hear screaming. After the train had gone, I realized that it was my own. People were pulling me off of the ground. "Lance!" I shrieked. "Lance!" He was clinging just as tight to me as I was to him. I didn't want to let go. That had been too scary. My heart was beating too fast. I didn't know what was happening around me. There were so many muffled voices. And they were yelling. And I was screaming.

And then I fainted.

— — —

I woke up in a white bed in a white room.

I was alone in the room, but through the window, I could see my brother. Some people were yelling at him. He looked sad. I wanted to help, but I didn't know why he was sad. He looked through the window at me. We made eye contact. He was crying. I'd never seen Shiro cry before.

A nurse came in and told me to go to sleep. I asked him why Shiro was so sad, but he wouldn't answer me.

When I woke up again, it was because Lance was pulling at my sheets. "Come on," he whispered. I was still rubbing the sleep out of my eyes. We didn't have any shoes, so our feet made weird sounds down the hall. He was holding my hand and leading me to the front doors of the hospital.

"Keith!" I turned to see Lance's mommy and daddy walking towards me. "There you are! Come with us. We're going to take you home." Lance's daddy took my hand and started tugging me towards the exit.

Shiro stopped Lance's mommy and said something that I couldn't hear. She glared at him coldly. "Vincent," she said. Her voice was reluctant and dry. Lance's daddy stopped and turned around.

Shiro knelt in front of me. He was trying not to cry, but his eyes were still red. He put his hands on my shoulders. "Keith, I love you so much. I'm so sorry." He pulled me into a hug.

"I love you too, Shiro," I said, wrapping my arms around his big, shivering chest. He lost it. He started sobbing into my scrawny shoulder. "It's okay," I tried. "Don't cry."

"I'm going to miss you so much," he wept. Lance's mommy coughed. Shiro gave me a quick squeeze and a kiss on the forehead before forcing himself to stand. He took a shaky breath. "I love you," he whispered.

Lance's daddy took my hand again and led me to the parking lot. "Goodbye, Shiro!" I called. "See you later!"

Lance's parents had a big car for their big family. I sat in Lance's booster seat and he sat next to me. We played sticks on the way to his house. It was a big house with two stories.

"Come on," Lance's mommy instructed. "You can sleep in Lance's bed."

Lance beamed. "I'll race you to my room! I bet I can get there faster than you!"

"Oh, yeah?"

"Yeah."

As soon as the front door was unlocked, Lance and I were crawl-running up the stairs. I forgot for a second if his room was on the left or the right, so he ran past me. That's the only reason that he won.

"Yes! I beat you!" he cheered.

"Barely," I pointed out. "I almost won."

Lance's mommy came upstairs. "Keith, honey, you should lay down. You can wear some of Lance's pajamas until Shiro brings your stuff."

I was going to tell her that I usually just sleep in underwear, but I was in a hospital gown and wasn't wearing any.

"Red or blue?" she asked.

"Blue!" Lance said.

"I'll take red then," I deducted. "It's my favorite color."

She helped me untie the gown and tucked me in after Lance and I were dressed. "Goodnight, baby," she mumbled. She seemed distracted. "Let me know if you need anything."

— — —

As the days went on, I stayed at Lance's house. We did everything together. We shared a plate of breakfast every morning; we got dressed together every day; we made bets and played every afternoon; we shared dinner every evening; we slept together every night. The only weird thing about it was no school. Maybe it was spring break though. I thought I remembered Mr. Iverson saying something about that.

Regardless, Lance and I were starting to get along. Well, kind of. Lance and I were like best frienemies or something. He was super annoying, but in a good way.

On the fourth sleepover day in a row, Lance and I were drawing pictures. He drew the ocean. He must've used every shade of blue in the crayon box. I drew a monster. It was big and red and black, but he had sad eyes because he was actually really nice and no one would play with him.

Lance's mommy knocked gently. "Keith, honey?" She opened the door and walked in. She was wearing a pretty dress with long sleeves and black flowers. She approached me with a cautious smile. "What'd you draw?" I told her about my monster, but it didn't seem like she was listening. "Well, we're going to leave for the funeral soon. I think that you should stay here. Is that okay?" She spoke softly like she was afraid I might break if she was too loud.

I nodded. "Funerals make me sad." My dad's funeral was really sad. I didn't like it. Everyone around me was sad. Shiro had held my hand the whole time. He kept telling me that it was okay to cry, but he didn't cry once. I missed Shiro.

Lance's mommy started to get up.

"Wait," I said. "Will Shiro Be there?"

I thought I saw anger flash across her face, but she spoke in the same soft voice from before. "No honey. Shiro's not allowed." With that, she left, closing the door behind her.

Lance and I stayed in his room. "It's okay," he said. "I don't want to go either."

A few hours later, one of Lance's sisters, I think, brought us some food. She looked sad. She had probably gone to the funeral. "They want you to stay up here until everyone leaves," she told us. "They don't want anyone to get mad at you."

Lance and I smiled and accepted the food.

— — —

"It's time for us to move," Lance's daddy said. "I got a job a few towns over. We will start there in about a month. I think it will be good for all of us to get away from here. We can start fresh."

I looked around the room. Some of Lance's siblings seemed relieved. Some of them seemed upset. Lance's mommy bit her lip and nodded, sadly agreeing that it would be good to start fresh. Lance himself looked confused. I guess I was confused, too. "Lance's mommy?" I asked.

She looked for a second like she was going to cry. Then she smiled, but her eyes were still wet. "You can call me Mommy, sweetheart."

I smiled at that. "Oh. Mommy, when you move can I still come over? This has been the funnest sleepover of my life."

"Oh, baby," she said. "You're coming with us."

"Yes!" Lance exclaimed.

"Nautical," I said.

Lance's sister nudged me. "I don't think that word means what you think it means."

Everyone laughed.

— — —

Lance's siblings, Lance, and I all played hide and seek in the new house. It was really fun. Shiro never had time to play with me because he was working all of the time, but the McClains were always hanging out with me.

Right now I was hiding in a closet. I held my breath as footsteps in the hall got louder and louder. The door flung open to reveal Lance. I bit back a scream. "Are you it?" I whispered. Lance shook his head and put a finger to his lips before climbing into the closet with me.

It was silent for a long time. It was dark. I jumped when I felt something touch my hand. "It's just me," Lance whispered. He took my hand in his and it was quiet again. I couldn't hear anything in the house. I panicked for a second, thinking that Lance's siblings had tricked us into leaving them alone. Lance squeezed my hand to reassure me.

Lance was really really annoying, but also kinda nice.

Marco threw open the closet door suddenly, making me scream. Then I laughed. We all laughed. That night, Lance, Veronica, Marco, Luis, and I slept on sleeping bags in the living room. There was a space heater in the middle of our circle that we pretended was a fire. It was really fun.

For the first time in a while, I felt like I had a family.

I smiled up at the ceiling and pretended that Shiro and my dad were in the circle too.

— — —

As the days went by, I had fun with the McClains. Months went by and we started at a new school. I didn't really make any friends, but I had Lance so it was okay. Years went by and the McClains were more like my family than ever. Eliza and Vincent were my Mommy and Daddy. Marco, Veronica, and Luis were my brothers and sister. The only one who would never be a brother to me was Lance. He was my best friend, but my love for him wasn't really filial or platonic. I was in love with him. I was ashamed of myself. We had shared a bed for years. He deserved to know how I felt, but I couldn't help but be sick about it. It felt like I was lying to him, but I didn't want to risk losing him.

I kept my feelings to myself.

The McClains were everything to me. I found out when I started middle school that I was a McClain— legally Keith McClain. I used to have a different last name, but I couldn't remember it. I didn't really remember anything of life before the McClains. It didn't matter anyway. Whoever my old family was, they left me behind. I was okay with that because I thought I had something better. Mommy and Daddy and my siblings and Lance would never leave me.

That was an admirable feat as I proved to be a trouble child. I never meant to do anything wrong, but weird stuff just happened around me sometimes. Lance always got in trouble too. Of course, we fought sometimes, but most of our recorded offenses were things that we didn't do or couldn't control. No one ever believed us to be innocent, so we got kicked around a bit.

After getting booted from a few schools in the district, Mom and Dad decided that Lance and I should try something else. Dad got a deal with his job which gave us scholarships to Voltron Academy, a private school in the city. The school had a pretty high graduating class. It was also well known for dealing with "troublesome children" like Lance and myself. They had uniforms and everything.

In the fall, Lance and I began our junior year with high hopes. He hoped that we would finally get to stay in one place for more than a semester. And I hoped that I would finally muster the courage to tell Lance how I really felt about him. For better or for worse, he'd never left my side. I hoped, for the better, that he never would.

"This year's gonna be good," he said. "I can feel it."

"Oh yeah?" I challenged.

He squeezed my hand, which always seemed to be holding his. "Yeah."


	2. Chapter 2

I wake to Lance's obnoxious alarm. The sun isn't even up yet. Lance jumps up and turns on the lights. I groan and shield my eyes with a blanket.

"Come ," he pushes. He grabs the blanket and pulls it to the other side of the room, trying to lure me out of bed. "It's our first day of school, Keith! We have to go!"

I check the time. "School doesn't start until...later." I lay back down, this time burying my face in a pillow.

Lance yoinks that too. "Yeah," he concedes, "but we have to drive to the city! That's the price of not staying in the dorms. Now you have to wake up!" He hits me with my pillow. "Come on! Aren't you excited to go where no one knows us? We can start over!"

"Okay," I yield. He hits me with the pillow again. "I said _okay_!"

He giggles and scampers off to the bathroom to change. I sigh and get dressed too. The school's emblem, an intersecting _V_ and _A_ , lays flat against my left breast. It looks nice, I guess. I fluff up my hair and practice being pretty. Lance bursts out of the bathroom in matching gear. "Ooo!" he sings. "Watch out ladies of Voltron Academy! Keith is comin' for ya!"

I laugh. "What are you talking about?"

He smirks and winks.

Mom comes in then. "Aww," she coos, coming up to us. "You look so grown up! I'm so proud of you." She grabs my head and kisses me between the eyes. "Come on, mijo. Let's get you fed."

Luis and Dad are waiting for us downstairs. Luis is a senior, but he still goes to the public school in town. Marco and Veronica moved out after graduating. I miss seeing them every day, but they come by for brunch on Sundays, so it's not all bad.

Dad grins when he sees us. His smile is bittersweet. "My boys are all grown up. Soon it's just going to be me and you, Eliza."

Mom wears the same look of simultaneous sorrow and pride. "Oh, we still have a few years left." She serves the table plates of sunny-side-up eggs and avocado toast. She's big on the family eating together. When we finish, Lance and I take everyone's plates and wash up.

"You ready?" Dad asks. He's going to drive us to school every day. There are certainly other methods of public transport available, but Dad doesn't trust them.

"We're ready!" Lance says.

We're almost out the door when Mom stops us for hugs. She always says goodbye like she's afraid it's the last time. "I love you." She swallows tears and goes in for another tight hug. "I will see you after school, okay?" I think this is more for her than for me, but I appreciate being so wanted and cared for.

"Of course," I hug her back. "I'll see you after school."

Lance and I race for the front seat. I win, naturally, so Lance is left to brood in the back on the drive up. He mumbles something about how I _always_ get the front seat and it's not fair. I tell him if he wants to win, then he should just be faster.

Dad steps on the gas.

The sun comes up as we drive and it's really quite beautiful. Approaching Voltron Academy is like approaching a castle. It looks downright regal compared to the older buildings of the city— or maybe it's the dramatic sunrise behind it. Three stories of square brick and carved white stone make up the main building. I gulp. There's no way I'll fit in a place like this. Dad parks and walks us inside to the headmaster's office. (That's right. Headmaster, not principal.)

Lance grabs my hand.

An older man with an obscenely orange mustache and head of hair greets us. "Welcome! You must be the McClains. I'm Headmaster Smythe, but you may call me Coran. Please, come in, have a seat." He's quite jovial. It's comforting.

"I actually have to get to work soon," Dad says. "Is it okay if I leave you here?" Lance and I nod. Dad wraps his arms around us in a group hug. "Have a good day, okay?"

"We'll try," I smile.

He ruffles my hair before he leaves.

Coran watches patiently. He sits in a fancy looking spinny chair and boots up his computer. "You're lucky. The schedule you wanted to take had just enough space for you. I've printed a map and schedule, but it may be a little confusing. Feel free to ask any students or teachers for directions if you need to!"

I look over the papers. "Thank you." I wait for the warning most principals give to us about behavior and how we can't act like "that" in their school, but it never comes.

"You're enrolled in your classes, but you're not officially in the system until you sign here." He passes over a tablet and stylus. On the screen is a list of all of the students in our unit. At Voltron Academy, the same group of kids moves from class to class, except for electives. I sign my name and pass the tablet to Lance, who signs his under mine. "Excellent," Coran chirps. "First period starts in about fifteen doboshes, so you'd better get going. Your first-hour teacher is also your homeroom teacher, so he will answer any questions or attend to any concerns you may have. And, of course, my door is always open! Well, not literally, but metaphorically, it is. Figuratively? You should probably knock before you come in. Um... Welcome to Voltron Academy!"

Lance and I laugh on our way out. "Well that guy is weird," he notes.

"Yeah," I agree, "but in a charming sort of way." I stare at the map as we walk down the corridor. Other than technology and fancy uniforms, this school really isn't so different from the others. Well, hopefully, this will be better, but I don't think we'll have too much trouble adjusting. Just as I gain confidence, I realize all of the room numbers aren't numbers, and the map key isn't helpful either. I try to remember if Coran said anything about it. "Lance," I stop. "What is a dobosh?"

"A dobosh..." Lance rolls his eyes. "Oh. I don't actually know."

There were other people in the halls before, but they're not here now. "I think we're late... and lost." 

"Let me see the map," Lance says. He compares the symbols on the map with the symbols on our schedule. "I'll race you here," he says, pointing to an arbitrary room on the second floor.

"What?" I snatch the paper. "We don't even know if that's the right one!"

Lance starts stretching and preparing to run.

"Oh, you are so on." I stuff the map in my pocket. "On three?"

"Okay... three!"

"Hey!" I yell after him. I'm faster than him, so I know I'll catch up, but he picked the finish line, so he might have something up his sleeve. He gets to the stairwell first, but I pass him on the way up. "I'm gonna win!" I promise.

"Whoever touches the door first wins!" He's keeping pace just behind me. He probably thinks he can speed up for the last few feet or something. I start to increase my lead, but he reaches forward and grabs my hand. I don't complain. I can use that to yoink him back at the last second.

We're getting closer. Both of us are reaching a hand forward, and pulling the clasped one back. We're so close. He's not slowing down though, so neither am I. We hit the door with such force that we fall backward. We both hold our foreheads in the place of impact.

"I definitely won," he laughs, breathing hard.

"No way," I pant. "I touched it first." I laugh too.

The door opens and Lance and I laugh harder. "What is the meaning of this?" a man says. He's tall, or maybe he just looks tall because I'm on the floor. His muscular arms are crossed over his barrel chest.

He helps me stand and I help Lance up. He's is really tall and buff, even though he looks to be East Asian. "We're, uh, new," I explain.

"And lost!" Lance chimes in.

The man softens with a sigh. "Where are you headed?" he asks.

I pull out the crumpled schedule from Lance's pocket. "Um...math?"

He holds out a hand so I pass over the paper. "You're just in time," he brightens. "We were about to take roll." Lance and I look at each other and then follow the man into his classroom. "Alright everybody!" he projects. "I'm going to seat you alphabetically by last name starting in this corner and going back. When I say your last name, you will respond, informing me of your presence. Then you will sit. If someone is absent, we will leave a space for them. Do we understand?"

People shrug and murmur different ways of saying "yes".

The teacher smiles. "Excellent! This is a listening activity, so please pay attention." He goes through the alphabet, a calm smile on his face until he gets to L. He freezes. His smile is gone. He looks like he's seen a ghost. "K-Keith?" he calls quietly.

I'm about to sit down, but I remember that we have to wait for our _last_ name. Teachers think they're funny when they catch you off guard like that. I know someone else's last name isn't Keith because _K_ comes before _L_. I stay next to Lance. I feel satisfied for catching the trick.

The man swallows. "McClain?" he calls even more quietly.

Lance and I say "here" at the same time. Then we laugh.

"We're both here," Lance shrugs, taking the seat behind me.

"Oh," the teacher whispers. "Right, um..." Then he continues roll call. I can tell he tries to revert to how he started, but he's clearly bothered. Maybe he heard about how Lance and I are notorious troublemakers and he's just bummed we ended up in his class. He keeps glancing at us like he thinks we're going to cause havoc if he turns away.

I sigh and lean back. Maybe things will never change. Lance plays with my hair. "It's going to be okay, Keith," he says.

I lean back further. "How do you know?" I'm just about upside down on his desk now. I can see his stupid, happy face.

"I just know." He brushes my bangs back. "Even if we get expelled from every school in the world, we'll still have each other." He puts his fingers on the corners of my mouth and pulls them toward him. "Now turn that frown upside down!"

I laugh. He always makes me laugh.

"Okay everybody!" the teacher hails. "I'm going to pass out tablets now. I ask that you don't touch them until you are instructed to do so. Keep in mind that these are for academic use. Voltron Academy has the right to view your activity and activity history at any time without your knowledge or consent. So," he picks up a stack of tablets, "don't do anything illegal or gross, please."

Before he hands a tablet to a student, he tries to call them by their first name. It's amusing when some kids give him hints or mouth their names in slow motion. He doesn't play this game with me and Lance, though. He sets tablets on our desks and moves on. Lance and I look at each other and silently agree that the teacher is being really weird.

Over the next two hours, the man does an amazing job of simultaneously paying attention to only us and ignoring us completely. I'm too impressed to be mad. To the other students, he probably seems normal as he explains the syllabus and school rules. After math/homeroom, I expect the other teachers to be weird too. They're not. Everyone at this school is totally normal except for that first guy.

The last hour teacher gives everyone book bags in which to carry their tablets. Lance and I decide to share one.

After the school day, most kids head to their dorms. Lance and I, as well as the other twenty-or-so dorm-less children, go to the main office to check out. Dad is waiting for us in the parking lot.

"How was it?" he asks when we get in the car.

"Mostly good," I shrug.

Dad risks a glance my way before returning his eyes to the cars around him. "Mostly?"

"Well," I think about it. "It was actually pretty great. No one brought up the past. Directly. I felt like a normal person, almost."

Dad purses his lips. "Almost? Mijo, you are a normal person, no matter how others treat you. I don't want you to be alienated at this school. I want you to at least try to make friends."

Lance leans forward between the seats. "It's just our math teacher. He was acting like we were from another galaxy or something."

"Yeah," I agree. "It's just the first teacher. Maybe he'll get over it as the year goes on." I hope he isn't so weird later. I can't have him throwing off my day _every_ day.

"So," Dad says. "Do you think this school will work out?"

"Yes!" Lance cheers from the back. I don't know how he can be so optimistic.

"I want it to," I sigh.

When we get home, Mom is frantic. "Oh, I was so worried! I hate that your new school is so far away." She peppers my face with kisses.

"Mom," I laugh. "It's okay. We're okay."

She looks super serious now. "No one is bothering you, right?" She sounds like she'll kill anyone who is.

"Everything is fine," I reassure her. Maybe I don't totally believe it, but I don't want her to worry any more than she already does. "Today was good." The better I act like everything is, the better it seems to be. "And tomorrow will be too."


	3. Brother

"Okay, students," the math teacher claps. "We spent yesterday taking care of technical stuff so today we can have fun." He turns on the big screen on the wall. A bunch of colorful shapes and a string of numbers appear. "Turn on your tablets and go to _kahoot_ dot I-T. Enter this code and then a nickname. It doesn't have to be your real name, but let's keep things appropriate, shall we?"

Some kids groan. Other's laugh in excitement. Lance and I share an evil look before shielding our tablet screens from each other. I quickly put in the code and type Lance's name in as mine. I'm going to make everyone mad at him by winning first place. I see his name, as well as the other students' nicknames, come on screen. Then I see _my_ name. I turn around.

"What's your username?" I question Lance.

He smiles coyly. "I'll tell you when I win."

That is not going to happen. Kahoot is a game of tact and speed, and I've got speed. I have to time everything right. There are bonuses for being the fastest to answer, and you can build up bonuses with answer streaks, but an incorrect answer receives zero points. I'll have to keep my wits about me.

The person nicknamed Keith and I vie for first place. It's back and forth throughout the game. We're neck and neck, but I come out on top as Lance.

"Yes!" I cheer out loud.

Lance leans over. "Oh, sweet. I won. Looks like you were oh so close, Keith. If only you hadn't gotten that last one wrong," he winks.

I gasp. "You sneaky little-" I make a grab for his head. He laughs and ducks.

"Boys," the teacher warns. "Let's stay calm, okay?"

Lance and I straighten up.

The teacher makes a weird face then. It's like he's trying to smile, but he's trying not to sneeze at the same time. Then he turns away.

I look at Lance and mouth the word "weird." Lance nods in agreement.

In the next classes, there are more games: name games, icebreakers, surveys— the usual second day of school stuff.

At lunch, it's a little strange because some kids from our unit sit with us. It's always been just me and Lance. One year Luis had the same lunch as us, but other than that, it's _just _been me and Lance.__

__The first kid is Hunk. He is tall and round. He has dark skin and hair and he wears an orange headband brighter than his smile._ _

__The second person is the exact opposite. Pidge is a small, stringy girl with pale skin and huge nerd glasses._ _

__"Hello," I say slowly. I don't know what I'm supposed to do in situations like this, so I nudge Lance to carry on conversation while I open up our lunch box._ _

__The little one nods in acknowledgment. "Lance and Keith, right?"_ _

__"Yes," Lance confirms, shooting finger guns._ _

__I roll my eyes and pull out our sandwich. "You're a dork," I say, handing him his half._ _

__"At least I'm not edgy!" he retorts._ _

__"What?" I gasp. I turn to Hunk and Pidge. "I'm not edgy," I assure them._ _

__They laugh._ _

__"You guys seem really close," Pidge notes. "Hunk and I have been buddies since junior high. How long have you two known each other?"_ _

__Lance's mouth is full, so I answer. "Like, forever?" I try to remember a beginning but I can't think of a time when he wasn't by my side._ _

__Lance swallows his bite. "We're brothers," he explains, wrapping his arms around me._ _

__I push him away. "No, we're not."_ _

__"What?" he frowns. "Yes, we are."_ _

__I avoid meeting his eyes. He can always see right through me, and I'm not ready for him to know what I really think about him. "I'm adopted, so we're not really brothers," I say._ _

__I can tell Lance doesn't want to let this go, but he also knows that I don't want to talk about it. "That doesn't make you any less a part of the family," he tells me._ _

__I don't answer, so we leave it at that._ _

__"Anyway," Lance turns back to Hunk and Pidge. "We're new here. We actually live two towns over, so we don't know anyone in the area."_ _

__Hunk raises an eyebrow. "You're not staying in the dorms? People come from all over to Voltron Academy, but it's usually the few who live close who opt out of dorm life."_ _

__"Our mom is super protective," I shrug. "We're the babies, too, so she wants us in the house as much as possible."_ _

__Pidge hums in understanding. "My older brother lived with us while he was at university, but now that he's gone off to grad school, my mom is suddenly super clingy." She stops to think about it. "I sound annoyed, but I'm not. I miss him too. I actually like that my mom calls me every night. And she and my dad pick me up on the weekends, so it's lit."_ _

__We all continue laughing about our families and telling each other about ourselves._ _

__I thought it'd be weird to have other people sit with me and Lance, but it's not. Pidge and Hunk are nice and they get along with us. I like that they're not the fake nice like the kids from our other schools. When people would try to sit with us before, they'd always get freaked out and leave. I hope Hunk and Pidge will stay._ _

__We're sorting our lunch's trash and recycling when our math teacher comes and taps my shoulder._ _

__"Keith?" he asks. "Can I speak with you for a second?"_ _

__I turn to answer, but he's looking at Lance. "Um, _I'm_ Keith," I say._ _

__He meets my eyes for just a moment before his gaze flits elsewhere. "Right, I know. Do you mind if I speak with you?"_ _

__I turn to Lance for an answer, but he only shrugs his shoulders. "Sure... I guess," I say. I follow him out of the lunchroom._ _

__"Oh, um... _Lance_." The teacher seems to have trouble saying Lance's name because he barely gets it out. "You didn't have to come with us. You can go back to the cafeteria."_ _

__Lance looks behind him. "Pidge and Hunk said they'd take care of our trash, so I'll just wait for Keith."_ _

__The teacher clearly doesn't want Lance there but he simply turns away. "Keith," he says._ _

__I raise my eyebrows. (I still haven't figured out how to do just one.) "Am I in trouble or something?" I ask._ _

__"No," he shakes his head. "No." He puts his hands on my shoulders, and I tense in response. "Keith, do you know who I am?"_ _

__I look at Lance who, again, shrugs his shoulders. He's so helpful. "You're my math teacher?" That's obviously not the answer he wants. "Homeroom teacher? Advisor?" Maybe he wants me to say his name. I don't know any of the teachers' names yet, though!_ _

__He is really close to me— his gray eyes darting all over my face._ _

__"Uh..."_ _

__"Takashi!" the headmaster calls. "There you are! I was looking for you!" He comes up to us and winks at me. Then he turns back to the teacher. "I need your big, strong muscles to move my desk!"_ _

__Takashi looks between me and Headmaster Coran. "A-Again? Right now?" He squeezes my shoulders. "I'll come and talk to you later, okay?"_ _

__Lance pulls me away. "Thank you!" he waves. "We're going to class now!"_ _

__"Um, bye," I say._ _

__Lance takes my hand and drags me down the hall. "I don't like him getting in your space like that," he mutters. "He was going to make us late, too."_ _

__"What?" I laugh. "Like you don't get in my space?"_ _

__"That's different," he scowls. " _I'm_ your brother. _That guy_ is creepy."_ _

__My smile falls. Of course, that's what he meant. I don't know what I was thinking. "We're not even related," I remind him._ _

__Lance rolls his eyes. "We'll come back to that later. But either way!" he huffs. "You're my best friend, and I'm yours. I don't want anyone coming in and whisking you away."_ _

__I change our hand position so our fingers are laced. "I don't think you have to worry about the math teacher becoming my new best friend," I laugh. Lance still isn't smiling so I bump him._ _

__He gasps in mock offense and bumps me back._ _

__I grin and bump him harder. I guess it was a little harder than I thought because we both hit the floor. Then he's laughing too._ _

__This is exactly what I want, I think. If it could just be me and Lance forever, I'd be happy._ _

__We get through our afternoon's classes much the same as the morning's— except now we have Hunk and Pidge to talk to as well._ _

__When we get home, I decide not to mention the math teacher. He's definitely super weird, but I don't think he's creepy or dangerous. I feel a misplaced fondness for his quirks._ _

__Mamá is so happy when I tell her about Pidge and Hunk. She wants them to come over for brunch one day._ _

__Lance doesn't seem comfortable with that notion, so I tell her to wait and see if we actually become friends or if they're just nice people who talk to everybody._ _

__"Oh, mijo," Mom says. "You worry too much about 'real' friends. Just enjoy your time with them if they make you happy."_ _

__I look at Lance. "I am happy."_ _

__— — —_ _

__The next morning has a different vibe than the last. I get hugs and kisses from Mom just the same; a ride to school with Dad, Lance in the backseat. The difference strikes me when we walk into class. The lights are down, and the teacher is sitting in his desk instead of greeting everyone as they come in. He's thinking intently about something._ _

__He comes out of his stupor when the bell rings. "Good morning everyone. Please take your seats, and then we can get started."_ _

__Everyone was already sitting. They're quiet too, noticing his unusual demeanor. He has our attention._ _

__He comes around his desk to sit on top of it. "I'd like to introduce myself to you all; tell you how I've come to be where I am today. Maybe a few of you know me already but you probably only know the math teacher side of me."_ _

__Some kids look at each other— probably the kids who already know him. I think they are excited to hear more._ _

__"My name is Takashi Shirogane. You can call me Mr. Shirogane or Mr. Shiro. Just Shiro is fine too._ _

__"I was born in Japan to unwed parents. My mother raised me on her own for the first few years of my life before my father was able to marry her. After that, life was good, I suppose. I was a good student; I had good friends; good parents._ _

__"Everything changed when I was fourteen. I got a new baby brother, Akira Kogane, who I loved more than anything. That same year, however, my father moved us to America._ _

__"My mother stayed behind in Japan._ _

__"I was angry and confused at first. I didn't have any friends; I couldn't speak English; I didn't care about my American grades because they wouldn't matter in Japan. Everything I had spent my whole life building was gone. My American teachers wanted me to adopt a white name, but I refused. I told them that my name was Shirogane, and I wouldn't answer to anything else. Shirogane was my mother's name, and I tried to keep as much of her with me as I could. I felt the want of her everywhere. My father couldn't be there for me because he had to work. I felt so alone._ _

__"My only companion was my infant brother." He pauses to smile fondly. "As he grew, so did my love for him. He was my whole world, really. I liked to think I was his._ _

__"I eventually got used to my new life. Learning English was hard, but my dad took time out of every day to learn with us. I still refused to take a white name. I was so bent on keeping my name that even my brother called me Shiro, which is ironic because that's the Japanese word for white."_ _

__A few people laugh._ _

__"I started doing well in school again. My charisma shone through my awkwardness, and I made a few friends. I even got a boyfriend. I made it to my senior year, and little Akira started preschool. Everything was getting better."_ _

__Everyone smiles, glad that everything was better._ _

__"I was eighteen and considering college when my father suddenly passed away."_ _

__The pause here is longer than the last._ _

__Lance comes to sit in my desk with me. There's nowhere really for me to scoot, so he sits in my lap._ _

__"Taking my four-year-old brother who didn't understand death to our dad's funeral was one of the hardest things I've ever had to do. I made a promise to myself that day: as long as he was alive, I would never leave him." He takes another pause to breathe._ _

__"It was time to step up. I dropped out of high school to start work. I broke up with my boyfriend and cut off my other friends. Everything I did was for Akira. Child services were waiting at my every corner, but I was doing everything right. I did my best to make sure Ki was happy too. My employer took pity on me but admired my hard work so he promoted me. With the raise, I was able to make ends meet, but not much else._ _

__"I didn't have a lot of time for my brother but I hoped one day he'd understand. I finally understood why my father wasn't always there. I wanted to make time for Akira, though. I packed his lunch for him every day and tucked him every night, but it didn't feel like enough._ _

__"One day he approached me with a field trip permission slip. He had already scrawled his white name in all caps where it said 'student.' Of course, I signed and gave him five dollars to attach to the paper. He hurried away to put it in his backpack, but I called him back. I called my boss to take that Friday off and then I signed the bottom half of the sheet, volunteering to be a chaperone._ _

__"Akira was so excited, and honestly, so was I. He had told me about his friends, but I had never met any of them before that day. Maybe Ki was acting up because I was around, or maybe that's just how he played with the other kids, but they were all really _really_ annoying."_ _

__A few people laugh again._ _

__"I left the kids with their teacher during lunch and stepped away to get some air. I wasn't gone for long, but in that time..." Even in the dark, we can see him grip his desk. "There was an accident." His voice comes out strained._ _

__"Shiro!" Hunk stands. "I was there! To the Five Lion's Train Station? I remember you!" He seems to realize the suddenness of his outburst and sits down. "Sorry. I- I'll talk to you later," he mumbles._ _

__The following stretch of silence is the longest yet. It only ends when someone asks, "What happened next?"_ _

__Lance squeezes my hand._ _

__"Ki wasn't hurt, save a few scrapes and bruises," Mr. Shirogane continues, "but someone else was. I'm not allowed to say names. The kid's parents were enraged, understandably. They told me I had no business being anywhere around a child. They sued me. I didn't have the money to fight back. They took everything I had; they took my brother." His voice is so wrought with emotion, I don't know how his face can be so calm._ _

__The same people who laughed before are crying now. I feel Lance shiver. I wrap my arms around his waist and pull him closer._ _

__"I lost everything; my mother, my country, my father, my friends, and then my brother. It was too much. I lost myself. I was sadder and angrier than I'd ever been. A man with nothing to lose is a dangerous man indeed._ _

__"I didn't get out of bed for days yet I never slept. I didn't quit my job; I just stopped going. I was eventually fired over a phone call I never answered. My landlord came to the door one day because I wasn't paying my rent. He took one look at my scraggly, grown hair and beard and my sunken face and told me he'd give me another week._ _

__"I had no intention of paying the rent, however. I began to drag myself back to my room but found myself in the kitchen, where I started the fire. I watched expressionlessly as it spread. I followed it through the living room, down the hall, past my room, and into Akira's._ _

__"I watched his things burn; his toys, his bed, the drawings on the wall. Two crayon stick figures that were supposed to be me and him shriveled and turned black before I laid down on his floor to die."_ _

__Obviously, he didn't die, but I realize I'm leaning forward in anticipation. He's a good storyteller. I can feel my heartbeat through Lance's chest._ _

__"By some miracle or some curse, I survived. I woke up in a hospital, a felon. I was charged with first-degree arson and sent to prison. I don't know how long my original sentence was because I wasn't paying attention. I let everything happen around me._ _

__"I went to mandatory counsel sessions, but nothing ever came of those. I usually sat in a comfortable chair for an hour or so while a therapist or psychiatrist tried to get me to respond in some way._ _

__"One day, while I was waiting for my turn to go in, I overheard a man comforting his adopted daughter for the loss of her parents. I'll never forget his words. He said, 'People leave us. It's inevitable. There are only two things we can do afterward: stop or continue. If you choose to stop, that's the end of it. If you choose to continue, however, you can find the space to remember what you've lost. It's in your memory of them that they're still with you.'_ _

__"I broke down right there in my prison jumpsuit and handcuffs. I scolded myself for how foolish I had been. My brother was still alive. I still had the chance to see him again. I had given up, but that man's words brought me a new resolve. I was young and still had time to turn things around._ _

__"When it was finally time for me to go in, the therapist raised an eyebrow at me. 'Are we going to talk today, Takashi?' she asked._ _

__"'Yes,' I said and I told her my plan._ _

__"Not long after that, I was given parole on the condition that I keep up my good behavior and complete one thousand service hours within the next two years. It's rare for someone convicted of arson to get parole, so I was lucky. I wasn't going to let this chance pass me by. After a year I had fourteen-hundred hours of service under my belt._ _

__"I stayed with my therapist during that time. She was impressed by my determination to set a new path and admired me for it. She asked what made me change my mind. I told her about the man in the waiting room. She knew exactly who I was talking about and gave me his contact information so I could thank him personally._ _

__"We met for lunch one day, and I told him my story._ _

__"He was moved, but imagine my shock when he told me I'd made a stupid promise to my brother; it's impossible to never leave someone. He instead suggested that I promise to never give up._ _

__"I did so right there._ _

__"That man's name was Coran Heronimus Wimpleton Smythe and he was the headmaster of a private school in the city. He told me I could work there— so long as I didn't burn down the place. I moved into the dorms a week later, and Coran— that wonderful man— paid for me to get my degree._ _

__"I've been a math teacher at Voltron Academy ever since." He looks down. "Everything I've done has been to redeem myself in the eyes of the law. Everything has been so that I might see my baby brother again..." He sighs, deciding to survey the room. "I'm willing to do- No. I will do whatever it takes to get him back. And even if he doesn't remember me," he meets my eyes, "I will never give up on him."_ _

__The bell rings._ _

__No one dares move or speak. Some people are trying to swallow their fallen tears._ _

__Mr. Shirogane hops off his desk and wipes his own eyes. "Alright, class. Be sure to complete the pretest assignment in the Google Classroom before we meet again on Monday."_ _

__Everyone gets up and moves silently and stiffly out of the room._ _

__I don't let go of Lance's hand as I approach the teacher's desk. "Uh... Mr. Shirogane?"_ _

__He turns, a hopeful expression on his face. "Yes?"_ _

__"Did you, uh, still want to talk to me?"_ _

__His shoulders sag a little. "Oh, uh, no. It's- I, um... It's okay," he smiles sadly._ _

__"Okay," I say. "See you tomorrow, sir." Lance and I start to leave._ _

__"Keith," he stops me. "Please call me Shiro."_ _

__It's not like a "Please," smile. "Call me Shiro," wink. It's more like he's begging._ _

__"O- Okay," I agree. "See you tomorrow, Shiro."_ _

__"See you tomorrow," he waves._ _


	4. Different

"Mr. Shirogane totally threw off my mood this morning," Pidge complains at lunch. "I wasn't ready to come in and hear his life story. I mean, it's fine that he shared or whatever, but that was intense."

"I didn't like it," Lance pouts. He sits in my chair with me instead of in the seat next to mine.

"Well, he did inform us that he's a convicted arsonist, so I think some discomfort is justified," Pidge agrees. "I'm more unsettled by the things he didn't say, though."

"D'you say you remember him, Hunk?" I ask. "Do you know what he was talking about?"

Hunk isn't paying attention to us. He looks up, and I repeat my question. "I'd rather not talk about it," he says darkly. "It was really traumatizing. I- I don't even want to think about it."

Pidge puts a hand on his shoulder. "It's okay, Hunk. You don't have to say anything if you don't want to."

"Okay," Hunk nods.

The rest of lunch is weird after that. The rest of the day is weird, actually. I'm relieved when it's over.

Dad reminds me it's Friday when I get in the car. "First week down... How are we feeling?"

I bite the inside of my cheek. "It's fine," I say. "I mean, I think it's better than other places, but it's kinda too early to tell."

"That's okay," Dad nods. "It takes time to feel comfortable in a new place. Speaking of, your mother wants you to bring your new friends around for brunch, but I thought you might want to hold off on something like that."

"They're probably pretty busy with their own families anyway," Lance points out.

"Yeah," I agree. "Maybe."

Dad taps the wheel subconsciously. "Is something wrong, Keith?"

"What?"

"Something seems off."

I turn to him and open my mouth. Then I close it. If I say something is wrong, then he and Mom will freak out. Nothing _is_ wrong; just weird. "I'm kinda tired," I say. "I'm not used to waking up for school yet."

Dad smiles. "Alright then. Make sure you go to sleep at a reasonable time this weekend. That should help."

"Mhm."

Lance and I spend Saturday personalizing the settings on our school tablets. He keeps trying to get a picture of me for his background, but I manage to hide my face every time. When I try to take a picture of him, he escapes the frame with equal parts agility and luck. It's a game after that. In the end, Lance has two pictures of me, and I have none of him.

"Ha!" he exclaims. "I win!"

"Whatever," I say, rolling my eyes. "Everybody's good at something."

"Tch, I'm good at _everything_ ," he crosses his arms.

"Oh, yeah?" I tease. "And I'm just better?"

He tackles me playfully onto our bed, trying to pin me down.

"Lance!" I laugh. "Our tablets!"

He doesn't stop, so I swing his legs out from under him and sit on them just in time for the door to open.

It's Mom.

"What are you up to, kiddo?" she asks.

I guess this looks pretty weird. Lance and I let go of each other and sit right.

"Nothing," we say.

Mom blushes. Then I blush. "Not that! I wasn't-"

"It's okay, Keith," she calms. "It's perfectly normal for a boy your age to-"

"I wasn't doing anything!"

She smiles knowingly as she sits down next to me. "If you say so."

My face feels hotter than it's ever been. I look to Lance to make sure he knows I wasn't trying to pull anything, but he doesn't seem to understand. I shake my head of impure thoughts and switch gears.

"Uh, Keith?" Mom prompts gently. "Are your friends coming over for brunch tomorrow?"

It takes me a moment to process what she said. Then I shake my head again in response to her question. "I didn't ask them." When I see her deflate I add, "But maybe they can come over next week?"

"Okay," she nods. Then she sighs heavily. "Do you at least have any pictures of them?"

"Uh, no?" I say.

"What are their names again?" she asks carefully.

"Hunk and Pidge," I respond in a similar tone. "Why?"

Mom bites her lip. "Really?" She takes a slow breath. "Keith, I'm asking about real people, not imaginary friends."

"Mamá, I'm sixteen years old. Why would I have imaginary friends?"

"Tch. You'd have an imaginary girlfriend more like," Lance snorts.

I ignore him.

"I've just never seen any of the people you talk about," she explains. "I'd like to meet them."

"I've only known them for, like, three days. You'll probably meet them at some point."

She stares at me.

"What, you don't believe me?"

"That's not it, mijo, but I worry-"

"Do you think I'm so lonely that I'd make people up?" I scoff. "Do you really believe all of those teachers over me?" My stomach twists itself into a knot a the betrayal.

"No, Keith," she grimaces. "I trust you." Her facial expressions tell a different story. "I've never met any of your friends before is all."

"I've never _had_ friends before," I roll my eyes. I cross my arms when Mom tries to grab my hand. "I've always been happy with what I have here with you guys; with Dad and Marco and Veronica and Louis."

There's a beat of silence.

"Aww, Keith," Lance gushes, "we love you too." He wraps his arms around my waist and puts his face over my shoulder.

"I- I still worry," Mom sighs. "I believe you, of course, but every year, when teachers and principals tell me about all of these accidents you're having— they say you talk when you're all alone, and sometimes I hear you talking when you're alone. I- it's hard not to think that it's you- I mean, that something is happening with you." She squeezes her eyes shut. "I trust you, mijo, of course I do, but I'm worried. I believe that _you_ believe what you say— and I want to believe it too— but if-"

"You think I'm crazy," I state. I'm shocked. I look at her with a mixed expression of hurt and anger.

Lance let's go of me to also look at Mom.

"I don't think you're crazy. Keith, I don't think you're crazy." She pries my arms away from my chest to hold my hands. "Keith, I want you to have the best life that you possibly can. I want you to be happy. If you need help, then I want you to get it."

I don't know what she's talking about. "Where is this coming from?" I ask.

Her eyes flit between the floor and my eyes before resting on our hands, and she speaks. "You're a strange child, mijo. I hate to say this, but I admit I waited for you to grow out of it. You're so sweet though, and you could do great things! I-" She squeezes my hands. "You can't go on like this forever. There has to be a change. You can't keep getting expelled for things you say your imaginary friends do. You-"

"I don't blame those accidents on anyone. They just happen around me! And I don't have imaginary friends; I've _never_ had imaginary friends!"

Lance jumps up to gesticulate wildly without hitting anyone. "He's telling the truth! We never touch anything. Random stuff just happens around us! It's just a bunch of coincidences! And Keith mutters to himself sometimes, but it's not like he thinks anyone else is there!"

Mom takes a shaky breath. "I think this is my fault," she says." She brings herself to meet my gaze. "I haven't done enough for you. You are my son, but I don't treat you like my other children. You've been so isolated in school and at home, and I didn't do anything to help you. I'm so sorry, mijo! I should have taken you to therapy with the rest of the family. I shouldn't have excluded you like I did!"

"But I'm _not_ isolated at home. You didn't-"

"You seemed so happy when we had you, and I- I didn't want to be happy, so I shut you out! I should have guessed that you were overcompensating and _acting_ happy as a defense."

"What are you talking about?" I stop her. "I _am_ happy."

Mom frowns. "Keith-" her voice cracks. She pulls away, tears in her eyes. "I don't know what to do for you."

I reach to grab her hand, but I hesitate. I don't know what she's talking about. "Y- you don't have to do anything!" I try to reassure her. I don't know what she wants from me right now. Or whether she wants me at all. "You do enough for me; for all of us." I bite my lip. "I love you?"

She faces away from me, crying quietly.

" _Hug her, stupid_ ," Lance hisses.

I lean forward awkwardly and pat her back. After a moment, she turns to hold me.

"Oh, Keith," she sniffles. "I wish you didn't have to grow up like this. I've failed you as a mother. I should have done more for you."

"Stop this, please. You- You're an amazing mother. You do so much for me, for everyone in the family. And you have _five_ kids; that's a lot. You haven't failed any of us."

That only makes her cry harder.

Lance sits back down to join the hug. "Mamá, I've never seen you like this." He sounds on the verge of tears himself.

The three of us sit there for a long time— Lance and Mamá on either side of me. I feel guilty that I don't know how to comfort them. _Am_ I crazy? I guess I wouldn't know if I was talking to people who aren't there. I'm scared of the idea. Tears of my own well in my eyes and fall. Maybe she's right. _Something_ has to cause those accidents. What if it _is_ me?

After about an hour, Mom allows herself one last shuddering sob before she wipes her eyes and stands. "Okay," she says. "Okay." She plants a kiss on my forehead. "I love you so much, Keith. I'm sorry for breaking down like that in front of you. I just- I love you so much." She may have stopped crying, but it's clear she is still very upset. She grabs my face and kisses it again and again.

"I know," I croak, blinking rapidly to stop my tears. I try for a smile. "I love you too."

"Me too," Lance says.

Mom gives me another tight hug. Then she goes downstairs.

A heavy breath leaves my chest when I flop back onto my bed. I focus on the ceiling.

_What just happened?_

I always felt like I was a part of this. This family is everything to me. I know Lance and I usually keep to ourselves in school, but I thought we fit in here. Does the rest of the family agree with Mom? Am I really an outcast at home too? To even consider they might not see me as one of them makes me feel sick, and I curl in on myself. They treat me just the same as Lance, though. We get left out of some things because we're the youngest kids, but it's not like we're alienated, right?

"Don't overthink it," Lance says, laying down next to me. He turns to face me. "You know how Mom can get carried away sometimes. She'll forget all about this imaginary-friend-thing soon enough."

No. It's more than that. She's been holding her tongue for a long time, I think, and today she finally let it out. I nod anyway. "You're right." It sounds so pitiful coming out of my mouth.

"Hey, man." He smiles, wiping tears off of my face with his thumbs. "You're as much a member of this family as I am. You know how much you mean to me, and I'm sure it's the same for the rest of the family. We love you. I love you."

"You love me like a brother?" I sniff.

"Honestly? No. If there's a way to love you more than like a brother, then _that's_ how much I love you." He puts his hands in my hair like he's petting a fluffy cat. "You're my best friend, Keith. Even before you were adopted or whatever, you were mine."

I let out a little laugh. "You're crazy."

"Not as crazy as you, apparently," he grins.

I roll my wet eyes.

Lance scoots forward and presses our heads together, hands still in my hair. "I'm serious, dude. I love you."

I guess I fall asleep after that because it's dark outside when I wake up. Lance and I are in the same position as before I closed my eyes.

"Keith!" Dad shakes me.

"Ah!" I say, sitting up. "What?"

"Oh, thank God," he breathes, pulling me into a tight hug. "Your mother told me what she said to you. Then she said you never came down for dinner because you were mad at her, but I thought- and then I saw you laying there and- Oh, it doesn't matter now. I'm so glad you're okay," he squeezes tighter. Then he pushes me away to look at me. "You didn't do anything, did you?"

I look at Lance, who shrugs. "I cried a little bit," I admit, "but it's okay."

Dad's shoulders slump. "It isn't okay." He shakes his head. "I can't believe she accused you of such things; that never should have happened."

I look down. "I don't know. She said what she meant. Maybe it's better that it came out now..."

"Keith-"

"Do you think I'm crazy?" I ask him.

"No," he answers immediately. "Everybody's different, mijo. You're differences are not a problem. You are my son, just like the rest of my children. Well, Veronica's my daughter, but that's not my point. It doesn't matter that you're adopted or that you go to a different school. The fact that Eliza made you even consider otherwise is-"

"Dad, really, it's okay," I try to settle him. He looks angrier than I've ever seen him.

"It's not okay!" he snaps. "I'm so tired of her behavior towards you! You've done nothing wrong; none of this is your fault." He seems distraught, looking around the room for something to say. "When we brought you into this family, I expected it to take some time for her to adjust, but it's been so long." He looks down, ashamed. "It's been hard for her— for all of us— since...you know." He shakes his head, deciding against whatever he was about to say.

"What do you mean? She doesn't love me?" There's an uncomfortably long pause before Dad sits down between me and Lance.

"This morning Luis got an acceptance letter from that college in Illinois. He says he's going to go. Your mom was really upset about that— I'm sad to see him go so far away too— but she agreed to help him sort through his stuff." Dad sighs. "They found some old photos from before we had you, and Luis says she just broke down after that." He pauses. "We were happy before we had you, but I need you to understand that you didn't make us unhappy. We had you _because_ we were unhappy, and you made it better."

It doesn't seem like I made things better for Mom, but I keep that to myself.

"She loves you," he says. "I think she's conflicted, though. It's hard for her to look at you and not imagine...if things were different." The face he's making can only be described as weary. Maybe he sees me and imagines the same.

"Why did you adopt me in the first place?" I ask. I don't know why I've never asked this before.

Dad takes my hand and turns it over in his. My slender, white fingers contrast sharply against his dark, calloused hands. "Your family before us couldn't take care of you, and I knew that we could." I notice his jaw tighten. "And we had space."

Lance lays his head on Dad's shoulder wearing a soft smile. "I'm so happy you're here. Keith," he says. "I couldn't exist without you."

Dad swallows and wipes his eyes. "Are you going to eat tonight?" he asks, changing the subject. "I haven't eaten yet either, and the food is still warm."

"No," Lance and I say in unison. "I'm not really hungry," I add.

Dad nods. "I expect you to eat a lot at brunch tomorrow, then," he says in a mock-stern voice. Then he smiles. "Get some sleep, mijo." He stays while Lance and I get in bed, and he kisses us goodnight. "I love you."

"Love you, too."

After he closes the door, Lance and I lie awake for a while. I wonder what life was like in the McClain household before I arrived. I ask Lance.

"I don't remember anything bad happening before you, but I think you definitely made things better. You did for me, anyway."

I scoff, but when I look at him, I see he's serious. I notice how beautifully the moonlight reflects in his eyes and how artfully the night contours his face. "I don't love you like a brother either," I say, and he smiles.


End file.
